Wondering what El Nino is all about? If you weren't around for the winter of '98 here's a professional definition from NOAA. Perfect time to ditch your skinny GS skis and learn why fatter is better.

http://www.noaanews.noaa.gov/stories2009/20091015_winteroutlook.html

For a looser interpretation we turn to the master...the late Chris Farley.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEoHz56jWGY

Photos: Dev Finley

Day 1 Friday Aug 21,
Headed to Portillo from Santiago with the man Nacho driving us in his Chilean “Jeep.” (apparently a Suzuki Samurai qualifies as a jeep down there). 4 dudes 6 pairs of skis, climbing gear and everything else you could imagine. We get to about 20km from the resort and find the road closed. Nacho and Brady get out of the “Jeep” and talk us through the road closure with their wicked Spanish. Make it up to Portillo at about 10pm, looking like a foot of fresh for Saturday. Some how we are staying in a Chilean army base that has been ok’d for the gringos for a two night stay. We find our accommodations in the Chilean army post and settle in for a long cold night. But for $25 a night who is complaining.

Day 2 Saturday Aug 22,
Woke up by an AK wielding pissed off Chilean army dude who storms in the room about 6:30 in the morning screaming at us in Spanish. Dev jumps up and scares the shit out of this guy. He leaves and we head for the mountain….quickly. Get to Portillo, scam our half price tickets and hop on the lift. The skiing is good with boot top to knee deep pow but visibility is really difficult. The Dokas rocked a few runs until about 1 pm when we bagged it for lunch. During lunch they shut the main chair lift down and started bombing for avies up on the higher peaks. 2 beers in and thinking the day was done, the sun magically comes up, they open the chair, and we are off again. As we get to the top of the chair they start opening the two 4-man poma lifts and it is on. We quickly lap about 6-8 runs of creamy pow in the sun with only a few rippers from the states to contend with. At the end of the day we track it all up, take in the view and are stoked that Roca Jack and it’s terrain will be there for us tomorrow.

Day 3 Sunday Aug 23,
On my 35th birthday things are looking good. Blue bird conditions, about 2000 acres of untracked snow about to open and it is ON! Hit Roca Jack for a few early laps of 30 degree warm "Cali-pow” about knee deep. They closed the high traverses due to avi conditions but we still got filthy lines all morning. Found a couple of stashes and traverses and got face shots. August in Chile...nothing bad about that. Skied the Dokas all day and they absolutely crush those conditions. Finished the day with an untracked 1500 foot line down to the road and the lowest lift. Packed up the “Jeep” and set off for Santiago.

Day 5 Tuesday Aug 25
We headed up to the mountain with the Republics and skins to try to bag Volcan de Chillan. We got up to the top of the mountain, did some looking around and found our route to the top of the volcano. The wind was howling at 8000 feet probably blowing a steady 20-30 mph. We geared up and headed out. As we made the first main ridge about 1000 feet up the wind is NUKING! Maybe a steady 40 mph with bigger gusts. Made it to the summit in about 3 hours. Crazy place. Wind howling, sulphur gas spewing out of the rocks, surreal. The ski back down was over 4000 vertical feet to the base of the resort, with mixed changeable conditions.

Day 6 Wednesday Aug 26
They opened up more of the inbounds terrain today so we did laps on the longest chair in South America. Threw in a 30 minute tour to a great feature, about 750-1000 vert of steep creamy goodness, and headed to the thermal hot springs at about 2pm to soak off some of our stink and weariness.

Day 8 Friday Aug 28
Skied Valle Nevado today with sunny skies and spring like conditions. The base of Valle Nevado is 3000 meters (9,842 feet). Way up there by Cali standards. Took about 30 minutes to reach the top t-bar at Valle Nevado after a series of lifts and poma’s. Found a nice untracked ridge about 1000 feet long and lapped up some cream corn on east and west faces until we were too tired to hike or ski anymore.

Day 9 Saturday Aug 29
Solo riding at La Parva today. La Parva is right next to Valle Nevado and is also very high and expansive. Once again took the usual shit show of lifts and poma’s to the top and immediately threw on the skins. Did an hour and a half skin up past the resort boundary to the north. Once there got to drop a beautiful 2000 foot run back down to my old skin track, where I once again climbed up and dropped a run called Mcconkey’s back into the front of the mountain. Fabulous day, great creamy snow, and just enough wind to keep things from heating up too much. Finished off the day with a few pisco sours and some groomers to shake the legs out for the long trip back to the states.

All in all a great trip. Never bottomless, but found fresh lines every single day at every single resort even after a week without snow. Great journey to a funny land with little people running about eating capricious amounts of fried meat and cheese, drinking booze and having a great time. Not bad for my least favorite month of the year August.

Pray for Snow.